Socializing = Never As Bad As I Think It Will Be

Sean asked me yesterday if I wanted to go out tonight. It’s generally not my thing, but hey: look where my thing has gotten me, right? So I said yes, even though I had my reservations. And it turned out pretty well. I mean, there was the usual standing around and not saying anything or really interacting with anyone, but eventually that changed. I started talking to J. about a few things, had some really decent discussion about music, both our mom’s battling cancer, SoCal v. NoCal, grad school. We all left pretty much right after that. And then in the parking lot finally got to talk to B., who’s working on applying to the Peace Corps. So of course there’s a connection there. Hopefully I’ll have the chance to talk to both of these girls again, because there are some good conversations to have, some good socializing to do.

I must say, though, that the most refreshing thing was that I wasn’t worried about anything. I wasn’t trying to get or give a number, wasn’t trying to impress or feel impressive. I feel like I’m finally starting to loosen up and not be so concerned about everything (and how it relates to everything else, and what all the possible implications are and every iteration of every possible future – it’s been exhausting being me). It this what normal people feel like? Whatever it is, I think I like it.