(Journal)

Work
Monday November 26, 2007
11:39 a.m.

1. Just got a call from Mom. Grandma Lilly is in the hospital and is not expected to last the day. I’m glad that she will finally be at peace; she’s lived a miserable existence for the last ten years or so, at least. No word yet on services.
Just another reminder of death, another reminder that my own mother will pass, and probably soon.

2. Saw April four days in a row; unprecedented. Thursday for Thanksgiving we were at her place with her roommates and their friends or family. Lots of good conversation, but she was quiet, observing, the whole time.
Friday we ended up at my place after seeing Beowulf at the Howard Hughes Promenade. While walking there we started talking about relationship benchmarks, and the conversation continued afterward. We talked about relationships and history and sex for the rest of the night. She left a little after midnight.
Yesterday I went out to her. We hung in her room for most of the time, other than a food run. When I first got out there, I found myself wanting to talk about something academic or not-personal; as if we had already shared so much. I didn’t really want to actively share anything more with her, just passively be there with her, touching and holding. After dinner my digestion was going off, and we debated but decided against making out in the car. We just laid there mostly, which was perfect.

3. Really feeling the need to make a decision/plot a course for my next step.